I would like to dedicate this article to everyone who have been affected mentally and emotionally at any stage of life through hatred, discrimination and unusual comparison.
I remember my friends calling me “Elephant”, ”Hippo” and much more humiliating words looking at the kind of body I had. There was times I got broken very badly and there were rare people who could understand the pain of being teased at, looked with laughter and made fun Every time and by almost everyone I knew. I never had the confidence to face myself in the various areas where people of extra size were thought to be unfit. I rarely participated at sports, never wore dresses that a typical teenage girl wears and never had the courage to talk to people and mostly boys of my age. I never had someone who was physically attracted to me, I never had the courage to face my crush.
I had a friend who was very black in college days. There were times she experimented with almost every possible ways to look fairer. I remember how her friends gifted her with “Fair and Lovely “ in her birthday and treated like a completely different type of person. She had always been low in her confidence and a very low performer. She was very unsocial, alone,frustrated,vulnerable and was unsatisfied. Once in a while someone would tell her how dark she was and asked questions if her race was from Africa. I rarely saw her spoke to any boy.
A short size girl was always treated as a joke of the class. Every time my teacher called her to solve the problems in the board and her friends would laugh at her inability to reach to the higher parts of the board. Not every time she could manage to hide her pain and then burst down into tears.
She was mentally disturbed and shattered.
A boy with glasses and less of fashion sense was treated as a very “Sojho-bachha” type boy who never had the courage to ask a girl for a date whom he loved immensely.
A boy/girl with very low marks were treated as dumb. They would always be made fun of and many times underestimated. Every hard question would be passed to them to make a laugh at class.
The above are few examples of how different people have been suffering with mental problems, low self esteem and low confidence because they have been directly teased by our friends, relatives and other.
The bitter truth in world is that we have been focusing on one different character as seen normal in others, the inability of something, the lacking and the insufficiency of so called standard at a cost that is very expensive to most people. The person can have multiple of talents and still remain under shadow because of one ability that he/ she lacks.
Let’s accept that there are a number of people who are either fat or thin, who are black, short heighten, educationally poor, low fashion sensed, dull and dumb.
There are people who are not perfect. They may not fit to your definition of beautiful and handsome when you look at their bodies. They may have fallen hairs, lowly structured nose, defects in how they look and present.
There is no need to constantly make people realize that they LACK something.
Isn’t it more wise to encourage those people excel in life with other qualities they have in their life?
To those who are sad of their body and attitude, It is time for you to make your presence more impactful, more motivational so that people who look at your defects in your circle have more words to praise and less word to bully.
You can tell a harsh thing and crush a person’s confidence but it is a hard thing to motivate one to life more happy life with acceptance.
Everyone can comment but world need more people who can love and respect other peoples’ differences.
At least I believe for reasons other than health and improvement, we must realize what comments should be passed on people and specially on how they look.
Remember that you are not a perfect person, Someday what if someone crosses your mind with a harsh and humiliating comment about you. Will it be easy to accept?
There have been people who have been tortured mentally to live a life that looks attractive.
Know that every Black girl has a collection of Fairer looking creams and that she has failed to look fair, Every fat girl has skipped days of meals and tried all possible ways to reduce her weight and failed, Every short height man has normally tried complain and other tools and failed, Most dumb looking man has truly loved a beautiful girl and never expressed, Most thin people you know have tried weight gain powders and Every Other people have been trying other things to look different.
These people have stayed for hours in front of mirror at felt ugly by comments from people. They have rarely the courage to snap photographs. These people are constantly fighting a battle to look better and beautiful, to look handsome and appealing and have failed.
They have failed to smile just because they were teased by someone, Commented personally on how they look.
They have been frustrated by no results and have been low. They are those who have stopped looking at what talents they have.
It is high time we learn the art to praise people ,to express how you feel about them and to tell them that their fight is worth for . It is time we stop making fun of people and encourage them.
It is time we make friends to every type of people and accept them easily. It is time to look at Beauties of soul and correcting them.
It is real time that we place higher importance to emotions and qualities rather than making a standard of beauty.
Every fat person deserves to be looked normally. Every black person l is capable of making life decisions. Every person who have felt ugly and unwanted is worthy of your attention and love.
Then and now, the difference that I have felt in me is that When you start loving yourself just the way you are more people will see the beauty in you . Remember friend it is You, who need to recognize one’s real characters and have a high confidence.
The biggest strength that people with these lacking, should have the courage to face their problems and life more confidently. They must love their life and their body. They must look at what they have and feel happy about them. They must accept advices and ignore comments.
We have one life , why should we look at mirrors with a sad face ? 😉
Let’s face those Cameras. Let’s face those hard words. Let’s look at the mirror and feel positive, bright and happy. Let’s do it, this time, now on and enjoy what we have.
To end, this poem is for everyone,
For skin is perishable and soul is to be loved,
For capability is your skills and not exactly what you wear,
And true love resides in the hearts of everyone
Dull and dumb, short and long,
Black and White, fat and thin,
In you and me , In us
Take care and Keep up high Spirits. There is no one like you.